Tell me why

The weekend's over and winter has finally arrived. I can't say I did much this Sunday as on Saturday afternoon I came into possession of a rather large large-screen TV. I went in the morning to get some coffee and fresh bread for breakfast and from the time I got home until late in the evening, I barely moved from the couch. This thing is unbelievable - it has all the bells and whistles and a wireless surround speaker system that has you looking over your shoulder every time it kicks in (but I'm sure I'll get used to that!). I watched every football game I could find, cranking up the volume and almost feeling as if I was there, I threw on DVD's indiscriminately, finding new plot twists and characters in movies I have seen tens of times, it's that clear. I even realised what bad skin the actress who plays Grace in "Will & Grace" has. Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now-Redux is even more menacing than ever and as for Robert Duvall....well.....it's true, Charlie don't surf....
I got online to see what was happening on the news and found myself going back to my TV for confirmation, because hey, if it ain't on my TV, it probably ain't happening. There might be more to life than this, but at the moment I'm not interested.

Syria has agreed to open its own investigation into the Hariri assassination. I know, I laughed as well.
And since we're doing jokes, here's a revival of one of my favourites:
A guy goes backstage at a club in Vegas before a Frank Sinatra show and gets in to see the man.
He says, "Mr. Sinatra, my name is John & I'm at table 7 outside with my girlfriend who is your biggest fan. The thing is that I want to ask her to marry me tonight and if you could possibly swing by my table and act as if you know me, she would surely say yes immediately"
Ol' Blue Eyes, being the supreme gentleman, agrees.
After the show, Frank wanders through the tables nodding and smiling at people until he gets to table 7. He beams, smiles at the fiancee, puts his hands on the man's shoulders and says, "John, buddy, long time no see! How've you been?"
John looks up and says, "Fuck off, Frank, I'm busy."

I don't like Mondays.